Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Moral Equivalent of OMFG

Is it true that Obama is turning AmeriCorps against Glenn Beck and weird white guys with half-goatees? Look, we don't know if it's true. But this whole thing might be bigger than health care. I'm not saying it's true -- no one's talking about whether or not it's true. But if it's true -- if, if it's true -- it's scary stuff. Is this what Hitler did with the SS? Look, it's not comparing Obama to Hitler, but if it's the same thing, it's scary stuff. Is it what Obama did with the Fedayeen Saddam? I mean, look, Obama isn't Saddam -- because maybe expanding Health Care (or not, I mean, see this whole blog) isn't the same thing necessarily as running an authoritarian state in which people were killed for essentially no reason, and often -- but this isn't dissimilar.

Am I saying that Glenn Beck and a couple of guys who seem kind of embarrassed about what they're almost saying are telling you The Truth about the bigger issues at work here? I am consciously trying to avoid saying anything. But I'm just saying, Saddam was "elected," too.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Where Have I Been?

Don't worry, I actually know the answer to that question! It's a rhetorical question, actually -- the answer is "I can't tell you because of DNC thuggery and the potential for immediate government reprisal because of me speaking my mind and telling The Truth about this Obama"Care" experiment." As usual. And more to the point, I also really do know where I am now -- last week's acetaminophen OD thing is apparently pretty much done, at least as far as I can tell from reading up on it on WebMD. Give or take some pore disaperture, follicular carnage and possible-to-likely mild kidney fenestration, I'm apparently more or less "out of the woods." I'll keep you posted, of course -- through my "posts!"

But I am once again away from home. I will say, because I know you might want to know but also know that The Bad Guys want to know, that I am in a Northern state. And that there's a parking lot nearby and what sounds like a tavern or bar-and-grill. More than that I can't and won't divulge, but I'm here. I will be in sporadic touch over the next few days, Citizen-Patriots, and I apologize for that. Things are really happening fast in my life. One day you're improvising a panic room and painting yourself to look like the wallpaper in that panic room and the next day you're getting married. In this case I mean I'm getting married! And while no groom plans to OD on acetaminophen a week before his wedding day and then show up in wedding photographs with visible evidence of follicular avidity (it's a serious condition, look it up) and carpal vealing, these are strange times.

I know there's not a lot of news in here -- like I said, these are busy times for me. But I did have the time to read up on the death of Senator Edward Ted Kennedy. Apparently ObamaCare is now going to be known as The Ted Kennedy ObamaCare National Health Socialization and Death Panel Entrenchment Decree or something. Which, you know, I guess I'm sorry Kennedy died, but really! And anyway, some comments I made about how Ted Kennedy murdered a lady and was also a limousine liberal jerk got taken out of the Wall Street Journal's comments section, too.

Luckily, some Citizen-Commenter Patriots are still bringing the truth to light. Check out Jack Johnson -- not the pop singer! -- with this piquant comment. I know everyone says it's not fair to use comments as a way to prove points because commenters are weirdos, but first of all look at that picture on the Jack Johnson thing and tell me you're not seeing a Patriot. And also it inspired me to use a Google Search and find out more about Senator Kennedy's oil holdings! According to some guy at Free Republic, the Kennedy family owns Kenoil, which is disguised on the Internet as a Singapore-incorporated energy company. Here's their management page -- notice who's missing!? Why isn't the MSM covering this story instead of harping on whatever the CIA investigation thing is supposed to be about?

Anyway, we know why. But here's my point: I know he's dead, but how is Ted Kennedy different than any other liberal? He says he supports health care, but really his family might conceivably be involved in the oil business! He says he cares about people and wants to improve their lives, but he works for the government! Doy-oy-oy-oy sound effect goes here! This is why liberals never win arguments -- they're unable to argue from facts.

Anyway, wish me luck getting married! Butterflies! "Love is forever" -- President Ronald Reagan. Be safe out there!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

You Be The Judge!

And don't be afraid to be an activist judge, either. This one's just for fun. Here are two videos on The Big Subject. One by President "Obama" and the other from Republican Rep. Tom Price of Georgia. I originally was going to say that you should cover your eyes and just listen and see which one seems more presidential to you, but even with my obvious biases -- for Freedom, against Nationalized Socialist JokerCare -- it's pretty easy to tell. Even if you're not watching, one guy sounds like President Obama and the other guy sounds like The Teacher from South Park. I tried it in the dark, with a blindfold on, same thing. Also maybe as a reaction to what turned out to be (thankfully a pretty mild) acetaminophen overdose, my vision keeps kind of like blinking in and out, so I was able to see how that worked. (You can still tell who's who)

I also tried listening to them at the same time, but that just sounded weird -- it was like Obama and The Teacher from South Park were arguing on the bus or something -- and my Internet kept crashing. So my advice is to watch one video and then watch the other video. And then you can be The Judge!

Here is the first one. It's "President" Obama talking about "misinformation" about his health "care" plan:

And here's the Congressman from Georgia shooting down all of Obama's "you can keep your health care" and "there are no such thing as death panels what is the MATTER with you people" stuff.

So, you be the judge! Here is how I am the judge:

I am trying to be clear about my biases, always -- for Freedom and Truth and Getting To Keep Your Doctor and Not Having Illegals Do My Dental Work and Chanting In Elected Representatives Faces and Not Incentivizing Elder Deaths In The Name Of Government Profit. And I guess you know by now where I stand on all those things! I am strongly for all of them! (Note: on some of those I wrote that I am "not" for something, and what you should take that to mean is that I am strongly for not doing that thing, not strongly for doing the thing that I name) (Elder Death is an issue near and dear to me, since I have known many elderlies who, for one reason or another, later went on to die) What a complicated paragraph! Anyway:

I hope I won't get killed by the readers for this -- because then I'd have to be buried in a government-run potter's field for people on the enemies list that will take up the entire state of New Oklahoma (it's all on page 46 of ObamaCare!) -- but I think the President has a nice voice. I just wish he was using it for announcing things on the radio instead of telling Not-Truths and LIES about his own program! Has he even read the bill, I wondered to myself while listening to him speak. He says there are no death panels -- well, pages 51-57 is basically one long description of how the actual Death Panel Chamber is to be set up (rectangular room, rectangular table, preferably central air), what is to be served at Death Panel meetings (light snacks, Pepsi One, "crudites"), and the criterions used in Death Panel decisions (age of applicant, state of residence, any allergies, hair color)! And he says that you'll be able to keep your doctor and health insurance plan, which first of all is only partially true -- check page 66 if you want to learn about "Doctor Change Februaries" and "Mandatory Immigrant Nurse Checkup Tuesdays" which are exactly what they sound like.

But really we should go to Dr. Price about this -- it turns out he's not just a doctor of telling The Truth, he's also a doctor of orthopaedia! And he effortlessly shoots down "President" "Obama's" "Arguments." Obama says you'll keep your health care plan -- Price says maybe that's not true, if your plan doesn't meet Government Standards in five years. (Boom!) Obama says you and your doctor will make health care decisions -- Price says no, because government. (Sock!) And he says millions of Americans will be shuffled off their current plans -- possibly at bayonet-point -- and onto the government plan! And then he nails it when he points out that the Government -- which says it likes Insurance, actually wants to get rid of insurance: "The president (sic) says he thinks the government should compete with your current health plan. But we all know that when the government is setting the rules and it's backed by tax doctors, it will destroy, not compete with the private sector." I got that far in the video before tearing up, which I'm kind of proud of. Here's why I got so emotional:

Well, two reasons. The first is that my tear ducts are just kind of doing whatever since I got my stomach pumped and that apparently my nervous system kind of has a mind of its own since it's basically still swimming in Tylenol PM. The other one is that I have seen such an amazing outpouring of love from our Private Citizens and Citizen-Patriots for the Private Sector that it's just amazing to me -- we are the Private Sector, after all, and the more Government attempts to get in there and make all that Private stuff Public, the more we need to stand up and fight! Or not "fight," that sort of talk could get me in trouble (and per page 70, might even land me in a Re-Education Camp in the newly formed "state" of East Dakota). But surely yell, at the very least, and use Adobe PhotoShop. And with that in mind, and knowing that a picture is worth a 1,000 words (or, per ObamaCare, page 65, an inflation-adjusted pro-rated number of words that, once immigrant and welfare words have been disbursed, will likely be more like maybe 940), I leave you with this:

Kind of says it all, doesn't it! Now stop forwarding it to me, everyone! (Just kidding thanks for all your emails and prayers. Most of the WebMD commenters I've talked to think that at least three of my five senses will return to normal once I finish purging the acetaminophen) (which reminds me: time for another charcoal shake!)

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Lessons in Home Health Care

Okay, so I just woke up and feel kind of weird. And looking back, I wrote some pretty weird stuff last night, but I'll leave it up there because of trust and credibility. I guess the big "lesson learned" here is that taking more of a medicine does not make it "prescription strength." It just makes you sleep for 17 hours and wake up really, really thirsty. And then I guess get the shakes, unless something else is causing that.

Anyway, right. I'm still working my way through Chuck "Walker the Texas Ranger" Morris' second Townhall essay. This one is dissection of the real villain behind the Obama plan. It's every bit as well-researched and written as the first one, but when the Truth is coming this hard and fast, sometimes you just need to take a breather! Especially if you're still seeing double or triple and sometimes your heart goes for like three or four seconds without beating. I mean my heart, in this case.

Dextromothorphan, I guess, is what it's called. I looked it up. I think I did, at least. I've been remembering a lot of things that it seems like maybe didn't actually happen at all, since I woke up. Like I thought I'd ordered a bunch of osso bucco pizzas from Papa John's a few hours ago and was really excited about it, but it turns out that that isn't even a type of pizza that they make. And also that there isn't a Papa John's in my town. So it's like... hello!

So the point is that I don't know if I can really do much on the Morris essay tonight because I might be dying. But if I should die before I wake -- or if I ever fall asleep, since I took a bunch of the nondrowsy pills and am now sweating like a Liberal at a Firearms Show (Bill Engvall? I don't know, I think I heard him make that joke) and typing standing up -- I want this to be the last thing you read on this blog:

Chuck Morris thinks that Rahm Emanuel's brother is the guy behind health care and that "President" "Obama" is basically a patsy and that Ezekiel Emmanuel's book on health care is the blueprint for the secret socialist takeover. And also that "some say" a bunch of scary things about Emmanuel's policy's and whatnot. What it keeps coming back to for me is how good Morris is at writing. As good as he is at kicking things and Bowflex Home Gym? You be the judge!

Seventh, Emanuel believes a universal health care program could be paid for by phasing out Medicare and Medicaid, adopting a value-added tax of at least 10 percent, etc., and then allowing Americans themselves to "pay extra with after-tax dollars" (Page 100) for additional medical benefits (beyond the government program). The truth is that whether the money comes from higher corporate taxes, taxing employer-provided health insurance, eliminating health savings accounts or flexible spending accounts, limiting the deductibility of medical expenses, increasing taxes on selective consumptives or the middle class, etc., or all the above, trust me; sooner or later, we all will pay.

And that's what's at stake -- we will have to pay for healthcare under the Joker-Socialist Obama"Care" Program. Morris really kicked and punched and flipped his way through the spin and got to what matters. And as a fellow citizen-patriot-journalist, I can't help but admire the writing style. Don't worry, the previous six points and the one that follows are all equally gripping!

Okay now I'm getting worried about stuff because I definitely did not decide to be running in place, but here I am, doing it. I'll sign off for now.

Not My Healthiest at the Moment...

...and it costs so much to go see a doctor that I think I'm just going to ride this one out. Fluids and rest and whatever's in these Tylenol PMs. Acetaminophen and whatever the thing is that's making me feel all warm and tired. I was going to do a post on the new Chuck Morris essay at, but I'm not really feeling like it right now. And not just because the Townhall site looks kind of like a porn website because of all those Michelle Malkin pop-ups.

Honestly, right now, it just doesn't seem that vital. The whole, like, I don't know... I kind of lost the train of thought. This is an effective medication, though. I was all drip-nosed and anxious and coughing a lot 30 minutes ago but now it's like the universe is giving me a hug. I'm in a medicinal womb. So honestly Chuck Morris is going to have to wait. I want to feel like this forever.

Is this real life?

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

You Know, Representative Barney Frank...

... you'll catch more flies with honey:


What I could understand from that was very rude. First of all, Representative Frank, you shouldn't talk with your mouth full. (It seems very unprofessional and disrespectful and elitist that a public figure would be eating a peanut butter sandwich at a town hall -- I assume that's what was going on with his voice) Secondly, while I agree that the young lady's picture of "President" Obama made up to look like Hitler is not a good thing -- really, from a policy standpoint and as regards his socialism, Obama is much more like The Joker -- that young lady is still a voter. And as a voter, she's entitled to ask her reasonable question. Did you hear Representative Frank answer that question, tell her why he "supports this Nazi policy... to deny health care"? I sure didn't!

I'm not being sarcastic there, either. He might've actually answered the question, I seriously only got like 40% of what he said. But I don't get the sense that young lady will be voting for him next election! Remember, "We Surround Them" -- Glenn Beck.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Back From Actual America...

...and ready to keep fighting "facts" with Truth! The trip out to the country was very restful, and I think looking back that I was probably paranoid about the whole Obama Enemies List thing. I mean, I might be on it, I don't know, but just because some stuff I ordered from Gamefly was late and my milk went bad doesn't mean that it was necessarily Democrat Thugs attempting sabotage. There are a couple of equally reasonable explanations and anyway I found "Call of Juarez" in my mailbox when I returned. (The milk I threw away -- whatever happened there, it was unsalvageable) These are frightening times, but maybe not that frightening! Anyway, I don't mind the new haircut, and I cannot wait to take off this fake mustache. My upper lip feels all heavy and sweats like crazy -- which means the mustache gets all lopsided -- and the mustache also smells like I got ketchup in it, although I can't remember how or when I would've done that. The last few days have been kind of a blur!

The thing with "getting away from it all" is that you're really away from "it all!" I rigged up a TV where I was, but the reception was really bad and the only channel I could get seemed to only be showing Nash Bridges reruns over and over. That wasn't so bad -- I saw the one where Nash has head trauma after the car explosion, which was a good one -- but I was kind of surprised when I got back home and found out all I'd missed. For one thing, "President" "Obama" wrote an article about ObamaCare! All by himself! (I'm so sure!) Anyway, here's a link if you want to get caught up on the latest spin. It's amazing how hard the media was on President Bush and Anna Nicole Smith, but how they just let this guy say whatever he thinks people want to hear.

It's hard to even know where to start -- it's the usual Liberal spin stuff. This guy lost his healthcare and couldn't get chemotherapies and died. This lady couldn't afford healthcare and she died. And it's like, okay, right, everyone dies because of health care. I get it. The way Obama writes this stuff, it's more like Health I-Don't-Care!

"President" makes four points, all of which I can easily rebut just from having read the first 30 or so pages of his health care "bill." I don't want to get boring, but I'll go point by point on this:

OBAMA SAYS: "First, if you don’t have health insurance, you will have a choice of high-quality, affordable coverage for yourself and your family"

BUT OBAMACARE SAYS: This is true... but only for Illegals! (Page 21) Actual Americans will be bused to new Federally administered Medical Region Headquarters (Page 22) where they will be required to perform medical screenings modeled on the Presidential Award for Physical Fitness standards. Sub-average scores on the sit-and-reach or shuttle run could result in loss of insurance or even prison sentences (22).

OBAMA SAYS: "Second, reform will finally bring skyrocketing health care costs under control, which will mean real savings for families, businesses and our government."

BUT OBAMACARE SAYS: Canker sores and lower back pain will be made illegal crimes punishable by fines of up to $120,000 (Page 19). This is how Obama"Care" really plans to balance the budget -- on the backs of the uncomfortable. "Real savings" huh? Tell that to the people who make SweetTarts, which will probably go out of business because their candies contain ingredients that cause both canker sores and lumbar soreness.

OBAMA SAYS: "Third, by making Medicare more efficient, we’ll be able to ensure that more tax dollars go directly to caring for seniors instead of enriching insurance companies."

BUT OBAMACARE SAYS: He sure has a funny way of "caring" for seniors. Elderlies, besides being subject to the same onerous sit-and-reach and shuttle-run standards as the rest of the non-Illegal population (Page 22), will be forced to engage in three Government Run Dangerous Pursuits per year (Page 24) through the Federal Xtreme Elder Act (FXEA). Good news for everyone who wanted to see their grand-relatives and other favorite elderlies take mandatory Muay Thai classes (25), participate in Forced Motocross (25) or simply starve due to the new not-legal status of butterscotch (which I mentioned earlier) and suffer strict rationing of Sunkist Fruit Gems and most hard candies (Pages 26-27). (I noted this in an earlier post -- looks like Mr. President really has it in for the Werther's Corporation!) Anyway, as the comedian Jeff Foxworthy (tm) says, if it walks like European-Style Elder Abuse and it denies hard candies like European-Style Elder Abuse, you might be a redneck!

OBAMA SAYS: "Lastly, reform will provide every American with some basic consumer protections that will finally hold insurance companies accountable."

BUT OBAMACARE SAYS: Consumer protections?! That's what you call tax breaks specifically targeted at alcoholic minorities (Page 27)? Consumer protection is making male pattern baldness punishable with up to 18 months in jail (Page 27)? Consumer protection is forcing doctors to only use medical practices mentioned in the Koran (Page 28)? Just wanted to make sure I was getting that! Sorry, this just makes me sarcastic!

This guy is right -- Obama really is as socialist as The Joker.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Getting Out of Town, and Chuck Morris' Facts

Crazy days! I'm about to leave town for a little bit and hopefully get the DNC thugs off my trail a little bit. Turns out that revealing that I have a window in my place -- I hope it didn't sound like bragging! -- was a little bit "too much information." Enemies list, here I come! Anyway, it's nice to feel important, I guess.

But I did want to link to one thing before I left, and that's this terrific article by Chuck Morris, the actor and Texas Ranger. In it, Mr. Morris exposes one of the "Big Lies" of Obamacare -- the true purpose of the child health and prenatal care provisions in the "Obamacare" program. Here's a quote:

Government's real motives and rationale are quite simple, though rarely, if ever, stated. If one wants to control the future ebbs and flows of a country, one must have command over future generations. That is done by seizing parental and educational power, legislating preferred educational methods and materials, and limiting private educational options. It is so simple that any socialist can understand it. As Josef Stalin once stated, "Education is a weapon whose effects depend on who holds it in his hands and at whom it is aimed."

As many of you know, Chuck Morris has been an advocate for freedom and children for a long time. But as many of you didn't know, it turns out Mr. Morris is just as good a writer as he is an actor. It's like his movie "The Hero and The Terror," except that this time The Terror is this terror-able indoctrinating health "care" plan. But The Hero is still played by Chuck Morris!

How Am I Supposed To Read This Bill...

...when there's all this great other writing!? I don't know. That's the hardest part about this whole thing. That and keeping down my lunch when I actually sit down to read Obamacare! For instance, here are three outrageous things I found on Page 15 alone:

- Only certain types of ham can be obtained without government permit/FBI permission.

- Because of Radical Feminism, both men AND women are required to take prenatal vitamins during pregnancy, despite the fact that this can cause serious health issues (testicular migration, etc) for The Man.

- People with Type 2 or 3 Diabetes lose the right to vote.

That's just one page! So it's kind of easy to tear myself away because I keep barfing and crying while reading it. Barfing and crying at what our democracy has become. I know that Thomas Jefferson or Ronald Reagan would also barf and cry if either of them could read it. Although both those Founding Fathers of Freedom are dead (of course, that wouldn't happen under a Socialism-Style Health Dictatorship!) so it's moot.

So who can save us from this? Maybe we can save ourselves! More Americans than ever are following Mike Gola's lead and saying "we know you're going to probably kill us and starve our disableds and possibly feed on our tender elderlies, but Hear Our Voices!" And that's inspiring because we shouldn't go quietly. It's not just Heroes like Mike and the guy with the handgun standing outside Obama's rally in New Hampshire and the Artist who first made the Obama-is-the-joker jpeg. It's also Every Day Heroes like Internet Commenters. Every little bit counts.

Here's an example -- the Wall Street Journal ran an article about how France's French-style France Health Care System is losing money. It has been losing money since 1989! The MSM writer "writes" that the United States spends 16% of its GDP on health care and France spends 11% and France routinely outranks America in life expectancy and infant mortality and other things. (And Britain spends 8.4% and also outranks us in those categories, although its Death Panel System is much stricter than France's and even recently killed actor Richard Harris because of the version of MacArthur Park he did in the '70s). But the everyday Heroes in the comments said "not so fast" to those Facts. Check out Hero Commenter Kirk Linn, who outed Obama"Care" defenders with Third World Names as ACORN community organizers! Another Un-American nailed by the Citizen Patriots!

So what I'm saying is "be not afraid" -- The Bible. We surround them! -- Glen Beck.

There are so many more quotes I want to share, and I haven't even gotten to the awesome op-ed I read by Movie Actor Chuck Morris, which is a big "karate chop" to the Obamacare guys. It packs "a punch!" More later!

My advice is to always keep chanting!

Quiet In Here!

Hey, Citizen-Patriots! Sorry about not having posted anything yet today. I'm still working my way through the Obamacare Health "Care" Bill, but it's been harder to read today since I'm not in a very well-lit space and my internet access is spotty (at best!). I'll be emerging soon, but I thought I should be precautious given the situation at hand.

Maybe you haven't heard about Mike Sola, who is this man in Michigan with a celebral palsied child. And Sola confronted Rep. John Dingell with what seemed to me like a pretty important question -- "I think it's just terrible that you are trying to make my kid starve to death just so Illegals will be able to get Botox injections for free in gay-owned hospitals. I know that's in the Koran, but it's sure not in the American constitution! Answer the question!" -- and then had to deal with some pretty scary stuff. Check it out:

So basically it's good that he got to address Ms. Pelosi and Mr. Whatever His Name Is about how their thug (it seems like it was just one thug) came in the middle of the night to call his poor cerebrally palsied young son an un-American, but at the same time it got me thinking that maybe it would be a good idea to thug-proof my home. Because while I am far from Ms. Pelosi and Mr. Whatever His Name Is's districts, the last few months have been nothing if not provative that the reach of thug-based Democrat operatives is more or less global. So I was working on a panic room of sorts, is basically what I'm saying (although I don't want to go into more details than that right now) when there was a knock at the door. This was earlier today. And I don't know if it was a thug or not, because I wasn't about to go to the door to find out, but I've been in the panic room for awhile since. And while I can hear the TV from in there the internet access is kind of off-and-on like I said, and I put on some greasepaint for camo purposes (not outside camo but panic-room camo so without giving away too much I looked kind of like wallpaper) and it turns out the greasepaint isn't exactly good for the computer! (Let alone if it gets into your eyes!) Anyway, I figured it's probably safe now -- or as safe as it will ever be -- so I'm going to go out and take a shower and then get back to working in a room where there's natural light. Hopefully that doesn't do too much to give away my location, but yes I have a window.

More soon! But a big Citizen Patriot Salute to Mike Sola, for standing up to everyone who comes on his property. The right to use lethal force -- unlike automobile bailouts and free radiation oncology for minorities but no one else (reparations) -- is actually in the constitution! Are you listening Ms. Pelosi and Mr. Whatever His Name Is?

They probably are. Thus the panic room, see above. My keyboard is a mess, by the way.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Answering Your Questions: Straight Talk for Concerned Readers

The MSM news filter and a certain basic impatience with reading things are working together to prevent Citizens from getting the truth about Obamacare, which means that we could be walking blindly into a socialist un-utopia in which "non-essential" elderlies are euthenized in the name of "efficiency" and it becomes a crime to even ask your doctor whether a medication you maybe need because you urinate often is right for you. This is why I started this project. It's why I'm at home reading this health care plan instead of at a Town Hall Meeting asking my congressional representative if he or she has read the Koran.

Is it true that minor surgeries (tonsillectomies, broken bones, etc) will be subcontracted out to Obama crony groups like "ACORN" in repayment for their assistance in the 2008 election? Will there really be compulsory biannual home visits from agents of the Federal Dentistry Agency, with severe penalties for "insufficient" use of such fluoride rinses as ACT Brand Fluoride Rinse? My point is that we just don't know. This is why we seek answers in emails our Uncle Doug got from his hunting buddies (for instance) or via Yahoo Answers. The important thing, though, is that we keep asking questions, because "the truth is out there!" -- X-Files.

Here are some real questions from readers, which I've answered to the best of my abilities.

QUESTION: I heard that part of Obama's health care plan is to resurrect Vince Foster so that Hillary Clinton can murder him again. IS THIS TRUE?!!?!1 -- Jon B., Louisville, KY

ANSWER: I have heard about the bringing-the-dead-back-to-life provisions in the Obamacare Plan, too. But I haven't gotten to them yet in my reading -- I'm trying to go in order! However, it is well-known that there were zombie-related clauses in the initial Hillarycare plan from the 1990s. As I understand it, the rule will be that zombies, despite not paying any state or federal taxes and in many cases not even being registered to vote, will be allowed to have FULL HEALTH CARE BENEFITS. I'll let you know when I get to that part!

QUESTION: [Will the government be issuing] Mandatory Putin calendars to win over housewives in the Russiafication of our country? -- LeAnne L.B., Seattle, WA

ANSWER: Classic Obama, here. Yes, these calendars will be issued. No, hanging them up in your home will not be mandatory. Supposedly.

QUESTION: Will they take my cats? I like them a lot, and they're very cute. -- Kate G., New York, NY

ANSWER: If they are deemed "allergenic," then yes, Federal Agents will take your cats.

Feel free to send more questions here. I'll answer as best as I can.

Getting Started

Just getting started on this, but more or less from page one there are plenty of surprises. Here are some things that jumped right out at me from the first section of the Obamacare Plan:

- As a result of socialism, all prescription drugs will be "distributed evenly throughout the populace, pill by pill" regardless of medical need. Need your heart pills? Go ask your neighbors if you can borrow theirs! (Pg 3)

- Strict butterscotch rationing will be implemented almost immediately, to discourage elderlies from being alive. (Pg 3)

- ATF agents authorized to seize cigarettes (non-mentholated) and chewing tobacco from private citizens in home raids. No exceptions.

- Mandatory Asthma "re-education camps" will be set up in Arizona and West Texas. (Pg 5)

- Inner-city urban clinics staffed by Illegals as part of an Obama Work Program will distribute methadone, switchblades and medical LSD (legal) to anyone who asks. Clinics will also operate fleet of Mobile Abortion Units. (Pg 6)

- Page 8 is just a reprint of the poster to "Logan's Run" with the words "we need to do this" written on it. I reproduced it at right.

- Because of diversity, all Medical School Tests, which used to be given only in English, will now also be given in French, Asian, Mexican and Islamic! (Pg. 11)

- Partial list of banned medicines and substances: all blood thinners, All Gold Bond Medicated Products, AIM Toothpaste, Triaminic (Grape Flavor Only), Sunblock Under 50 SPF, Carob, Icy Hot, Acetaminophen (Pgs 12-13)

There's more! I haven't even scratched the surface of the medicines they're taking away.

Time For the Facts

There has been a lot of spin and outright deception from both sides in the health care debate, but We The People deserve facts! Not lies and distortions from "elected representatives" who use their Town Halls as excuses to avoid the questions of a public that is -- quite reasonably -- afraid of losing its freedom. Many of these representatives haven't even read the bill, which is over 1,000 pages long! At these Town Halls, you can actually see them just making stuff up, at least until The People put them in their place.

As a Citizen Journalist, this bothered me no end. Our national health care is far too important to leave in the hands of a power-mad elite. People need to know what's really happening in Washington, before what happens there affects them and their loved ones back in Actual America. So I'm working my way through the Obamacare Bill and even though I'm just getting started, I already can't believe what I've found. This is just the beginning.

This is bigger than me, though. If I'm silenced, then so be it, but whatever happens I hope you'll keep asking questions, Americans! Chant things! Cry tears at unexpected moments! Or mumble darkly, brandish a firearm, glower suspiciously -- whatever you can do helps. We can't let this just happen without letting The Powerful know that we're here, watching.