Monday, August 17, 2009

Back From Actual America...

...and ready to keep fighting "facts" with Truth! The trip out to the country was very restful, and I think looking back that I was probably paranoid about the whole Obama Enemies List thing. I mean, I might be on it, I don't know, but just because some stuff I ordered from Gamefly was late and my milk went bad doesn't mean that it was necessarily Democrat Thugs attempting sabotage. There are a couple of equally reasonable explanations and anyway I found "Call of Juarez" in my mailbox when I returned. (The milk I threw away -- whatever happened there, it was unsalvageable) These are frightening times, but maybe not that frightening! Anyway, I don't mind the new haircut, and I cannot wait to take off this fake mustache. My upper lip feels all heavy and sweats like crazy -- which means the mustache gets all lopsided -- and the mustache also smells like I got ketchup in it, although I can't remember how or when I would've done that. The last few days have been kind of a blur!

The thing with "getting away from it all" is that you're really away from "it all!" I rigged up a TV where I was, but the reception was really bad and the only channel I could get seemed to only be showing Nash Bridges reruns over and over. That wasn't so bad -- I saw the one where Nash has head trauma after the car explosion, which was a good one -- but I was kind of surprised when I got back home and found out all I'd missed. For one thing, "President" "Obama" wrote an article about ObamaCare! All by himself! (I'm so sure!) Anyway, here's a link if you want to get caught up on the latest spin. It's amazing how hard the media was on President Bush and Anna Nicole Smith, but how they just let this guy say whatever he thinks people want to hear.

It's hard to even know where to start -- it's the usual Liberal spin stuff. This guy lost his healthcare and couldn't get chemotherapies and died. This lady couldn't afford healthcare and she died. And it's like, okay, right, everyone dies because of health care. I get it. The way Obama writes this stuff, it's more like Health I-Don't-Care!

"President" makes four points, all of which I can easily rebut just from having read the first 30 or so pages of his health care "bill." I don't want to get boring, but I'll go point by point on this:

OBAMA SAYS: "First, if you don’t have health insurance, you will have a choice of high-quality, affordable coverage for yourself and your family"

BUT OBAMACARE SAYS: This is true... but only for Illegals! (Page 21) Actual Americans will be bused to new Federally administered Medical Region Headquarters (Page 22) where they will be required to perform medical screenings modeled on the Presidential Award for Physical Fitness standards. Sub-average scores on the sit-and-reach or shuttle run could result in loss of insurance or even prison sentences (22).

OBAMA SAYS: "Second, reform will finally bring skyrocketing health care costs under control, which will mean real savings for families, businesses and our government."

BUT OBAMACARE SAYS: Canker sores and lower back pain will be made illegal crimes punishable by fines of up to $120,000 (Page 19). This is how Obama"Care" really plans to balance the budget -- on the backs of the uncomfortable. "Real savings" huh? Tell that to the people who make SweetTarts, which will probably go out of business because their candies contain ingredients that cause both canker sores and lumbar soreness.

OBAMA SAYS: "Third, by making Medicare more efficient, we’ll be able to ensure that more tax dollars go directly to caring for seniors instead of enriching insurance companies."

BUT OBAMACARE SAYS: He sure has a funny way of "caring" for seniors. Elderlies, besides being subject to the same onerous sit-and-reach and shuttle-run standards as the rest of the non-Illegal population (Page 22), will be forced to engage in three Government Run Dangerous Pursuits per year (Page 24) through the Federal Xtreme Elder Act (FXEA). Good news for everyone who wanted to see their grand-relatives and other favorite elderlies take mandatory Muay Thai classes (25), participate in Forced Motocross (25) or simply starve due to the new not-legal status of butterscotch (which I mentioned earlier) and suffer strict rationing of Sunkist Fruit Gems and most hard candies (Pages 26-27). (I noted this in an earlier post -- looks like Mr. President really has it in for the Werther's Corporation!) Anyway, as the comedian Jeff Foxworthy (tm) says, if it walks like European-Style Elder Abuse and it denies hard candies like European-Style Elder Abuse, you might be a redneck!

OBAMA SAYS: "Lastly, reform will provide every American with some basic consumer protections that will finally hold insurance companies accountable."

BUT OBAMACARE SAYS: Consumer protections?! That's what you call tax breaks specifically targeted at alcoholic minorities (Page 27)? Consumer protection is making male pattern baldness punishable with up to 18 months in jail (Page 27)? Consumer protection is forcing doctors to only use medical practices mentioned in the Koran (Page 28)? Just wanted to make sure I was getting that! Sorry, this just makes me sarcastic!

This guy is right -- Obama really is as socialist as The Joker.

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